


Fightin’ Words

by Sinshipsahoy



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Fluff, Jim Ships It, Just pretend Vulcan is still there p much, M/M, OC’s but they aren’t important, One Shot, it can really be TOS or AOS, lowkey, spones - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:07:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22580737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinshipsahoy/pseuds/Sinshipsahoy
Summary: Bones punched a Starfleet officer for insulting Spock. Spock seeks answers.
Relationships: Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock, Leonard “Bones” McCoy and Spock
Comments: 16
Kudos: 356





	Fightin’ Words

James Tiberius Kirk should’ve been a lawyer. 

He was no poet, but the man still had a way with words like Leonard had never seen. Jim’s charisma was magic, and as of yet, managed to untie any bind he found himself in. 

It wasn’t his own skin he was saving now, though. It was Leonard’s.

“Now, Admiral Torvek, please-“

“Assaulting an officer is terminable offense, Captain.”

It all happened so quickly. The Enterprise andher crew were on Vulcan for routine inspection. Jim, Spock, and himself had left together, with the promise of visiting Amanda and Sarek. On the way out of the Federation Deck, a crew of Vulcans Spock knew approached them.

  
It all seemed normal (although Bones privately thought Spock was acting even stiffer than usual), until one of them made some snide comment about Spock being half human. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure what it was- his universal translator ciphered it as something like “half-breed” and that was enough to set him off _immediately_.

Fist hit face. Shit hit fan. 

And so, without even making it off-base, the trio found themselves detained in an Admiral’s office getting chewed out in _monotone_. 

Spock sat in the middle, but naturally Jim was doing all of the talking. Occasionally, it felt like Spock was looking at him, but Leonard kept his gaze on the admiral. The racist bastard in question was having his broken nose tended to. Causing a fracture had been pure chance (especially since he hadn’t planned the punch at all), but he felt good about it just the same. 

Kirk was currently explaining the ancient human honor code of “Fighting Words”.

“That’s illogical. Your ship’s physician committed the assault, but no words were directed at him at all; fighting, as you say, or otherwise.” 

“Why yes, of _course_ ,” Kirk agreed, “But you _must_ know, Admiral, humans are often illogical, and _very_ empathetic. A human can feel another person’s emotion almost as well as their own.” 

“Humans are not empaths.”

“Well, technically no, but we are deeply social-“

“You mean you say Mr. Spock betrayed an emotional response?”

_Betrayed_. He would roll his eyes if he thought Torvek wouldn’t notice. Vulcans were ridiculous- not to mention, very expressive themselves. He used to believe the stereotype that Vulcans didn’t feel anything at all, until he learned they merely didn’t express any emotion. That, while paraded around as the truth, simply wasn’t it either. Bones knew Spock felt just as much and just as deeply as everyone else; and he even _expressed_ it, just not as dramatically. Mostly, it was in his eyes. When he was sad or angry, they got dark, and when he felt content with himself, they’d sparkle. 

Not that he sat around thinking about Spock’s eyes. Just observations. 

Even now, Admiral Torvek had expressed surprise on the word ’betrayed’. A minimal eyebrow raise, but the idea got across. Then again, humans _were_ intergalactically renown for their ability to recognize faces and voice intonations, so perhaps by universal standards, Vulcans were completely expressionless. 

After Kirk emphatically denied that Spock even moved, Torvek spoke again.

“No matter. Captain Odet will be arriving soon. You will explain more of these human honor codes, then we will discuss the fate of your physician.” 

“In the meanwhile,” Kirk chirped, “I think it’ll be best for Dr. McCoy to have a drive around. Cool off, you know.”

“It is currently one hundred and one Earth temperature units outside.” 

“Cool off _emotionally_.” 

The Torvek didn’t seem convinced.

“And,” Kirk added, “Mr. Spock will accompany him to ensure he returns in a timely fashion.” 

“Very well,” The commander conceded, “you two are dismissed.” 

McCoy shot up faster than a weed in a flower bed with Spock following after. 

Vulcan hover craft were sort of like old cars on earth, only they, ya know, hovered. Unlike Earth, Vulcan had no roads. Made sense, sort of. With the vast drylands, you just went whatever direction you needed to. In more populated areas, you simply drove slower, or walked. All _perfectly logical_ , to be sure.   


  
As federation personnel, all they had to do was flash their badges and grab the first craft they saw. McCoy declared himself the driver, and for once Spock didn’t argue. He pulled off in some random direction into the desert.

“Would you like the cooling system on?”

“I’m a Georgia boy, Spock, heat don’t bother me. Besides,” he added, “this is dry heat. Everyone knows humidity is worse.”

“I didn’t know that.” 

He snorted. “That’s a first.” 

They drove in silence. Seeing the dust kicked up the windshield sort of reminded him of driving in the rain. Occasionally, a little pebble would even add a pitter patter sound. He missed Georgia. 

“Doctor?”

“Hm?”

“Why did you punch that officer?” 

“‘Cause he was talkin’ shit,” Leonard spat in response. 

“Not necessarily.”

“Spock, he called you a _half-breed_.” 

“The word he used has no English correspondent. It’s not always a slur, merely a descriptor, like tall or short.”

“But didn’t you feel _insulted_?”  


Stupid question. He heaved a sigh.  


  
“Doesn’t matter. Your heritage wasn’t relevant, and he clearly meant to suggest you were inferior for being half human.” 

Spock nodded. “Ah. You took offense because you’re human.”

“I don’t care what that rat bastard thinks about me,” He snapped.

Just like that, the Vulcan was back to bewilderment. “Then why-“

“You heard Jim,” Bones interrupted, suddenly annoyed, “Human empathy. He insulted you, so I...ya know.” 

“Clocked him one,” Spock said, which almost made McCoy laugh. It was endlessly amusing to hear human slang said in such an odd way. Spock continued. 

“I assumed the Captain was lying.” 

“Why would he lie about that?” 

Spock didn’t answer.  


Then everything, with _horrifying_ clarity, clicked. Dr. Leonard Horatio McCoy assaulted an officer, risked his reputation, jail time, and his entire Starfleet career, because someone...insulted... _Spock_. 

He could feel his ears burning, and it wasn’t the weather. 

“Whatever, I would’ve done it for anyone,” he said, knowing instinctively it was a lie. He couldn’t see himself busting a move like that on Jim’s behalf- he’d certainly _say_ something, but a punch? Maybe he’d fight someone for Uhura, but honestly, who wouldn’t? In either case, he couldn’t imagine himself going off like a firecracker.

He was angry again. “Oh- what do you care, anyway?” 

“What do _you_?” Spock retorted, sounding (dare he say it) irate. “It does not make sense. You routinely insult me-“

“No I _don’t-_ “

“You call me a hobgoblin, and a pointy eared-“

“That- that’s _different_!” Spock turned to him. He looked back long enough to see the Vulcan’s eyebrows get closer together, and his eyes shade with quiet anger and skepticism.

“Wel- I uh...it’s...” why _did_ he insult Spock? Why did it never occur to him that Spock could be genuinely offended by his words? He shook his head, “Well, I don’t mean it to be insulting.” 

“What else could it possibly mean?” 

Nothing like having an argument on another planet to make you feel like you were from another planet. His stomach churned, but he couldn’t think of why.

“I call Jim a jackass all the time!” He said, “It’s a term of endearment.”

_Oh_. 

  
His eyes widened. The heat was all over now. 

Risking a glance at the other, he could make out the faintest tinge of green. 

“I’m...I am _dear_ to you?”

Bones curled in on himself and let out a shallow breath. For a Vulcan, Spock seemed to care an awful lot about _feelings_ today. 

Inhaling deeply now, he forced his body to relax. He let his hand fall in between them, steering with just the other. He clenched his teeth for a minute before muttering the most painful sentence of his life.

“Yes, you pointy eared _bastard_. You’re dear to me.” 

“Leonard?”

“What?” 

“Thank you,” came the quiet reply, as two fingers brushed against his.

“Yea, no-“

_**Wait a minute.** _

He slammed the brakes _hard_ , whipping around to Spock. 

“What the fuck was that?” 

“I-“

“You kissed me!” He said, flabbergasted. His legs were like jelly, at the sheer _disbelief_. 

It could’ve been his imagination, but Spock seemed greener than usual. Was that...confusion? 

“You...I _apologize_ , Doctor, that was unprofessional.”

Spock kissed him. Spock...wanted to. Kiss. _Him_. 

The Vulcan looked away. 

“Doctor, w-“

“Spock,” he rasped, “kiss me. Again.” 

Spock turned to him slowly. After a moment, they’re hands met, and so did their lips. It didn’t make sense. Spock irked him to no end and yet...this felt...

_perfect_. 

Just as things were getting interesting, McCoy’s communicator went off. They pulled away, and he saw an expression he wasn’t familiar with. Spock’s eyes were _completely_ glazed over. They kind of looked like two pots of honey.

Pretty. 

“Uh...yea?”

“Bones!” Jim greeted. “Good news! You’re not getting arrested or fired. The officer was named the offending party- all _I_ have to do is put it on your record.” 

“You wiley bastard! Now how the _hell_ did you manage that?”

“Well, you aren’t gonna like it,” Kirk chuckled, “but I convinced them you and Spock were _dating_.” 

Leonard burst into a laughing fit. A real, side splitting, abb defining, _howling_ , laugh. Spock’s lips upturned in the slightest as he turned away. 

“Jim, you shoulda been a lawyer!”

“Your ass is lucky I’m not!”   
  


Yes. Very lucky.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> ...Also, I’m pretty Vulcans don’t..date? Because of Pon Farr? But also I don’t care.
> 
> If anyone’s interested, I’ve opened up fic commissions. Please dm me on Twitter @RaveThebird or email me @thepandahero123@gmail.com
> 
> In any case, thank you for reading!


End file.
